“No Shirt, No Shoes, No Surgery”

1. Medical degrees from Devry.
2. Mandatory organ donor cards.
3. Lighters used to sterilize syringes.
4. Stomach stapling done at Office Max.
5. Coin operated morphine dispensers.
6. Tap water is a plasma substitute.
7. Homeless people all have only one kidney.
8. Free cremation with any major operation.
9. Bunkbeds in the Intensive Care Unit.
10. Your first dose of narcotics is free.
11. Special “showers” for the elderly.
12. Tongue depressors taste like Popsicles.
13. None of the nurses speak English.
14. The hospital cafeteria failed its health inspection.
15. Ambulances have meters.
16. Hospital walls are infested with “lab” rats.
17. Do-it-yourself heart bypass kits.
18. Wind up pacemakers.
19. You make up your own hospital bed.
20. Anesthesia always comes in a bong.