When I was a child, I once watched a television show which was showing how a candy company made taffy. I was intrigued by the way the worker pulled and twisted and otherwise mangled the taffy to get it to turn out the way he wanted it. When he was finished, it didn’t look anything like what it looked like when he began.
I was reminded of that when I read this piece by Keith Olbermann:
And George W. Bush took our assent, and re-configured it, and honed it, and sharpened it to razor-sharp points and stabbed this nation in the back with it. Were there any remaining lingering doubt otherwise, or any remaining lingering hope, it ended yesterday when Mr. Bush commuted the prison sentence of one of his own staffers. Did so even before the appeals process was complete; did so without as much as a courtesy consultation with the Department of Justice; did so despite what James Madison, at the Constitutional Convention, said about impeaching any President who pardoned or sheltered those who had committed crimes “advised by” that President; did so without the slightest concern that even the most detached of citizens must look at this chain of events and wonder to what degree was Mr. Libby told: “Break the law however you wish, the President will keep you out of prison”?
In that moment, Mr. Bush, you broke that fundamental compact between yourself and the majority of this nation’s citizens, the ones who did not cast votes for you. In that moment, Mr. Bush, you ceased to be the President of the United States. In that moment, Mr. Bush, you became merely the President of a rabid and irresponsible corner of the Republican Party. And this is too important a time, sir, to have a Commander-in-Chief who puts party ahead of nation.
Oh, please! Where was this dolt when his favorite President, Bill Clinton, served up 140 pardons on his last day in office, many of which were granted to felons arrested for drug offenses? Also, what about Clinton’s earlier pardons of Puerto Rican terrorists whose actions caused the deaths of 6 people in New York? Why is this any different than when Clinton pardoned Henry Cisneros, his HUD Secretary? Cisneros was convicted of lying to a government agency, a very similar circumstance to what Libby was convicted of. Why is it okay if liberals lie to the government but not okay if conservatives lie to the government?
Spare me the hysterics, Olbermann. Each and every President issues pardons and commutes prison sentances, and each and every President grants pardons and commutations to people he knows and who have worked for him. In Clinton’s case, he even pardoned his brother for a cocaine offense. So please just spare me the “no longer my President” and “only cares about a rabid and irresponsible corner of the Republicans Party” rhetoric.
“I think he forgot to accuse him of killing all the puppy dogs in New Orleans by ignoring Hurricane Katrina, but I’ll cut him a break. Being a brain-stem baby is hard.”
Lewis Libby was convicted for lying about a crime which never took place. The same special prosecutor who prosecuted Libby found that the disclosure of Valerie Plame’s work for the CIA was not a crime. In contrast, the members of the Puerto Rican FALIN group which Clinton pardoned bombed a restaurant and killed U.S. Citizens. It looks to me like your concern over the commutation of Libby’s prison sentence is a little, shall we say, misplaced.
The protection of the environment is turned over to those of one political party, who will financially benefit from the rape of the environment. The protections of the Constitution are turned over to those of one political party, who believe those protections unnecessary and extravagant and quaint. The enforcement of the laws is turned over to those of one political party, who will swear beforehand that they will not enforce those laws. The choice between war and peace is turned over to those of one political party, who stand to gain vast wealth by ensuring that there is never peace, but only war.
Next, Olbermann channels the worst of the deviants on the Democratic Underground by reciting the tired old canards of conservatives want to rape the planet, steal your Constitutional freedoms, allow lawlessness to flourish, and will start wars just to make a buck or two. Seriously, this guy is a Daily KOS diarist’s wet dream! I would take the time to dismantle all of his accusations, but it wouldn’t be worth it. Even if he could read it, he’d never understand it.
BUT WAIT! It gets even better:
I accuse you, Mr. Bush, of lying this country into war. I accuse you of fabricating in the minds of your own people, a false implied link between Saddam Hussein and 9/11. I accuse you of firing the generals who told you that the plans for Iraq were disastrously insufficient. I accuse you of causing in Iraq the needless deaths of 3,586 of our brothers and sons and sisters and daughters and friends and neighbors.
I accuse you of subverting the Constitution, not in some misguided but sincerely-motivated struggle to combat terrorists, but instead to stifle dissent. I accuse you of fomenting fear among your own people, of creating the very terror you claim to have fought. I accuse you of exploiting that unreasoning fear, the natural fear of your own people who just want to live their lives in peace, as a political tool to slander your critics and libel your opponents. I accuse you of handing part of this Republic over to a Vice President who is without conscience, and letting him run roughshod over it.
And I accuse you now, Mr. Bush, of giving, through that Vice President, carte blanche to Mr. Libby, to help defame Ambassador Joseph Wilson by any means necessary, to lie to grand juries and special counsel and before a court, in order to protect the mechanisms and the particulars of that defamation, with your guarantee that Libby would never see prison, and, in so doing, as Ambassador Wilson himself phrased it here last night, of you becoming an accessory to the obstruction of justice.
I think he forgot to accuse him of killing all the puppy dogs in New Orleans by ignoring Hurricane Katrina, but I’ll cut him a break. Being a brain-stem baby is hard.
In general, it has been proven that Bush did not lie to the public regarding the war; he was proceeding from the same intelligence reports that everyone else had seen and had come up with the same conclusions that everybody else came to. As for causing needless deaths, don’t be ridiculous. Sacrifice in service of one’s country is far from a needless death, but I wouldn’t expect Olbermann to understand that. He doesn’t think there is anything in this world bigger or more important than himself.
As for defaming Wilson, the Democrats’ own special prosecutor concluded that no crime was committed by outting Valerie Plame. How, exactly, was he defamed? Oh, just forget it.
Olbermann goes on and on accusing President Bush of almost every crime in the books, until the end when he demands that both he and Vice President Cheney resign from office. This is nothing new for Olbermann; he has used his television show as a platform for calling for the President’s resignation for years now. Its probably why his audience has shrunken from pitiful to non-existent.
Keith, I am going to close this by asking you to seriously seek medical help. Obviously you have lost touch with reality and have become a danger not only to yourself but to others. However, I’m sure a few years in a rehab center would bring you right back to the real world and you might even be able to resume the one job you had talent for: sports caster.
7/08/2007: Post Edited to correct spelling mistakes.
July 7th, 2007 at 1:41 pm
[...] LC & IB Nick writes us saying, modestly, “I think I’m proud of this!” [...]
July 7th, 2007 at 1:53 pm
“Its probably why his audience has shrunken from pitiful to non-existent.”
Wow. Shocking. I didn’t know his audience had ever been big enough to be considered pitiful.
July 7th, 2007 at 1:55 pm
“The same special prosecutor who prosecuted Libby found that the disclosure of Valerie Plume’s work for the CIA was not a crime.”
Interesting claim. Show us the proof, please. In what court document did Patrick Fitzgerald find that “the disclosure of Valerie Plume’s work for the CIA was not a crime”?
July 7th, 2007 at 2:22 pm
Nick, this is a thing of beauty in spite of all the rhetorical questions, such as “Why is it okay if liberals lie to the government but not okay if conservatives lie to the government?”
Olbermann was an ass on ESPN, that’s why he’s not there anymore, and he hasn’t gotten any better with his so-called “news” show. The only thing keeping him from being a flaming asshole is the deep insertion of his head in his rectum. It retards the fire….
July 7th, 2007 at 3:30 pm
Keith Ubermouth, man of the people, declares a war on the nefarious evil genius that is Bush.
Yes, the brilliant BU$HITLER seeks to rule the world for his own personal glory over the next 17 months. Obviously it’s working because the world loves him so and bows down to his omnipotence. They recognize that he is the most brilliant man to live in this century.
And yes Keith, we Conservatives are fighting a war just ‘cuz we got nuttin’ better ta do.
When you’re done here, move to Iran and rail against the mullahs, or perhaps the West Bank would be a great locale to report from. Go to Sudan and excoriate the Sudanese for Darfur.
Certainly each of these will act swiftly to address your righteous indignation.
July 7th, 2007 at 3:44 pm
Olbermann, like most children, are unable to hear or understand adults unless ithe information is paddled into their butts. Nice paddling, but I am afraid he is permanently constipated and won’t be able to hear. Grits
July 7th, 2007 at 4:26 pm
You’d better talk to the manufacturer of that cluebat, Nick. I’m quite certain you flattened a few of the studs from whacking Olberdouch so hard…
July 7th, 2007 at 4:26 pm
Well done. KO’s stupidity is not what is astounding. The fact that there are still people who watch him is.
July 7th, 2007 at 4:31 pm
Excellent rant. Hope you don’t mind if I and you to my bookmarks of Rottie Blogs and drop by from time to time.
July 7th, 2007 at 5:14 pm
so… your hero is bill o’reilly?? if the facts to fit the rant… make up the facts and call anyone who disagrees a pinhead…that bill O????
July 7th, 2007 at 5:22 pm
It’s actually spelled ’stupidest’
July 7th, 2007 at 6:15 pm
please act more like a 3rd grader…
I’m getting really sick of all the “well…well…umm…CLINTON PARDONED PEOPLE TOO!!!”
just because Clinton (& other presidents in the past) pardoned people DOES NOT make it o.k. for Bush to do so. I’d rather not make assumptions or paint with a broad brush, but the problem I have observed with the neocon mindset is the assumption that they have to defend every single action of a fellow conservative.
I on the other hand, am liberal (hold on a second, don’t get the tar and feathers yet) but can ADMIT that certain proponents of the ideology I subscribe to have their faults.
CLINTON WAS JUST AS WRONG to abuse the executive power of presidential pardons.
(got that?)
however, that absolutely does not change the fact that the Bush administration (and most certainly Cheney) NEEDS TO BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE FOR THEIR ACTIONS… just as any president should be, whether they are Republican or Democrat.
p.s. I know it’s cliche to point out spelling errors, and I didn’t want to, but it’s really hard for me to take this guy seriously when he cannot spell the name of his own vice president, (Ch”a”ney) and calls Valerie Plame Valerie “Plume” on several occasions. Lastly “stupidist?” I presume he’s trying to spell “stupidest”… but has mistaken it with the common name form of his ideology…Stupidism
think for yourself
July 7th, 2007 at 10:50 pm
Heh, when you quoted olberdouche saying “I accuse you of subverting the Constitution [...] to stifle dissent” I’m couldn’t help but think “so why are you allowed to talk?”
No no, olbermaniac, take a few. Think first, then try to answer. Oh right, I forgot, Bush won’t let you.
RH
July 8th, 2007 at 5:20 am
I’m just shaking my head in disbelief at the nonsense that man can spew.
And he gets paid to do that?
July 8th, 2007 at 9:53 am
I have only one minor quibble, with the post’s title: “quite possibly” the stupidest person on the planet? I’d say the accumulated evidence is pretty conclusive on that point; perhaps even more so than the “consensus” on global warming.
July 8th, 2007 at 2:11 pm
Aptly titled, well written and absolutely on the money.
July 8th, 2007 at 9:20 pm
McMayhem88:
The point I was making when I referred to Clinton’s pardons wasn’t that if Clinton did it that it was OK for Bush to do it. The point I was making was that I don’t remember Olbermann getting all worked up about Clinton’s pardoning of terrorists who had actually killed people. Why does Olbermann think this commutation is worth getting upset over but Clinton’s pardon of terrorists was not?
As for so-called “neocons” defending every action of a fellow conservative, almost eight years after they left office, people are still trying to defend the stuff Clinton and Gore did while in office. Its probably because the Hildebeast is running, but it isn’t any different.
Finally, I appreciate your pointing out the spelling errors. They’ve been corrected.
July 8th, 2007 at 9:23 pm
Meatbrain:
If the disclosure of Plame’s CIA work was a crime, why hasn’t the person who committed that crime, Richard Armitage, been charged with a crime?
July 9th, 2007 at 9:43 pm
McMayhem88 said: “CLINTON WAS JUST AS WRONG to abuse the executive power of presidential pardons…however, that absolutely does not change the fact that the Bush administration (and most certainly Cheney) NEEDS TO BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE FOR THEIR ACTIONS… just as any president should be, whether they are Republican or Democrat.”
So, pray tell, when does the left actually intend to start getting worked up over the Clinton pardons and demanding that he, too, be held accountable?
Insert cricket chirps here…
July 10th, 2007 at 7:13 pm
Ah, poor Nicky is unclear on the concept. Let me refresh your memory on the procedure, little one:
1) You make a claim.
2) You are responsible for backing it up.
Got that? Trying to derail the discussion does not work. Period.
“The same special prosecutor who prosecuted Libby found that the disclosure of Valerie Plume’s work for the CIA was not a crime.”
In what court document did Patrick Fitzgerald find that “the disclosure of Valerie Plume’s work for the CIA was not a crime”?
July 10th, 2007 at 10:34 pm
Until Armitage is charged and prosecuted, there was no crime. If the purpose of this investigation was to find out who leaked Plame’s name, and Armitage was the one who leaked it, why wasn’t he prosecuted? Why isn’t he on trial?
Simple — Because Fitzgerald doesn’t think a crime was committed.
July 11th, 2007 at 3:58 am
I see. You are claiming powers of telepathy, is that it, Nicky? What card am I thinking of?
Your claim was that Fitzgerald has already found that “the disclosure of Valerie Plume’s work for the CIA was not a crime”. When and where did Fitzgerald make that announcement? Your idiotic assumption that your interpretation of events is the only interpretation possible is utterly laughable. Produce documentary proof of your claim.
July 11th, 2007 at 8:25 am
[...] blogger friend Misha at Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler, we learn about this spanking delivered to Keith Olbermann, who’s been richly deserving of such treatment for quite some [...]