Today’s Sign Of The Apocalypse
Wednesday, April 27th, 2005This evening, after eating dinner, my wife said that she had heard something on the radio this morning and that she wanted me to see if it was a hoax or not. Always enjoying a trip into Bizarre-O World, I agreed. Little did I know that instead of finding information that would completely and totally debunk what she had heard, I would instead find the surest sign that the end of the world is indeed upon us.
Ladies and Gentlemen, I present Neuticles. Take a moment to admire the logo.
What are Neuticles? They are testicular implants for your dog or cat. That’s right, for your dog or cat. If Fluffy or Fido has become severely depressed by a recent neutering, you can restore their self-esteem and natural look with just a little plastic surgery and a couple of Neuticles.
Yes, that’s right. Veterinarians are now performing plastic surgery on pets. You name it, your pet can have it nipped, tucked, or Botoxed. I think that I can now say, with some certainty, that I have officially seen everything.
Good Lord, people, do we have nothing better to do with the money we work hard for than to spend it on what is surely a pet owner’s vanity? Do these morons really think that their dog or cat has a problem with their looks? Can anyone say projection?
Can you imagine the marketing that took place to launch this new industry? Think about it. How do you convince an otherwise sane person that their pet is developing a complex over his looks, and the only way to help him is to perform a little cosmetic magic on his face? More importantly, how do you say this to the pet owner with a straight face?
I am so totally afraid of what they’ll come up with next.
UPDATE: I finally found the vet’s website, however it is entirely in Portugeese. Have fun!
Hat Tip: The Wife
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April 28th, 2005 at 2:41 pm
Check out today’s blogburst when you get a chance!
April 28th, 2005 at 4:41 pm
Bizarre is almost too mild a word to describe this.